Ever wish you could just cut the garbage out of life the way you do a photo? Halloween is full of metaphorical photobombs and downright ugly background distractions.
Here’s what I would crop out of October 31:
Pictures of every kid in the world in costume. I’ve already seen every Disney princess and every member of the Avengers seven times tonight.
Trashy adult costumes. Seriously. Have some dignity.
Michael Jackson’s Thriller video. I think anyone who posts the video to Facebook should also be required to post a video of himself doing the dance. I’d watch that.
Warnings about razor blades in candy. I’m pretty sure this never happens. If so, point me to the news story.
Dentists offering to buy back kids’ candy at $1 per pound. That’s a rip-off. And shouldn’t you be glad kids’ teeth are decaying? KaChing!
Arguments about the origin of the holiday. Unless someone is sacrificing cats or having witch trials in your neighborhood, you probably shouldn’t be that worked up.
What do you dislike about this holiday? Don’t hold back. This is not a place for a positive attitude.