A Biblical approach to Fantasy Football (NFC)

Earlier this week I released the AFC version of the Biblical Guide to Fantasy Football and the response was astounding. Here are just a few of the reactions:

Thanks for putting me out of a job! –Matthew Berry, ESPN fantasy columnist

Going forward my weekly Flames and Lames report will only include players from teams who are not listed in the BGFF as it pretty much has them covered. –Brad Evans, Yahoo! fantasy expert

Ok, so those guys haven’t actually said anything about the BGFF, but it’s probably only because they are using its wealth of knowledge to make their analysis and predictions better. Those sneaky “experts.” I probably shouldn’t give those guys my secrets but I am a man of my word so, as promised, here’s the NFC:

How to use the BGFF. Each NFL team that is mentioned in the KJV, ESV, NIV, or NASB versions of the Bible is listed below. If you can’t decide which player to start on your fantasy team, consult the BGFF and decide by determining which team the Bible paints in the best light. Some of the teams are mentioned both negatively and positively, so I have listed only the most negative and most positive mention of each team.

NFC East

Cowboys

the Angel who has delivered me from all harm —may he bless these boys –Genesis 48:16 (NIV)

Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys -2 Kings 2:24 (NIV)

Possible Interpretation- Never, ever start a Cowboy over a Bear. Other than that, you’re good to go.

Eagles

I carried you on eagles’ wings –Exodus 19:4 (NIV)

For wheresoever the carcase is, there will the eagles be gathered together. –Matthew 24:28 (KJV)

Possible Interpretation- Eagles will carry your team, but don’t be surprised if your carcass is surrounded by them in the playoffs.

Giants

He breaketh me with breach upon breach, he runneth upon me like a giant –Job 16:14 (KJV)

Possible Interpretation- Simply put, start your Giants running backs.

Redskins

And every man, with whom was found blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine linen, and goats’ hair, and red skins of rams, and badgers’ skins, brought them. –Exodus 35:23 (KJV)

Possible Interpretation- Wait, are we talking about the Redskins or the Rams? Players who have been traded from one team to the other? I’m so confused.

 NFC North

Bears

Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore up forty-two lads of their number -2 Kings 2:24 (NASB)

Possible Interpretation- I’m pretty sure there are no female NFL players in Chicago so I’m not sure this applies.

Lions

The roaring of the lion and the voice of the fierce lion, and the teeth of the young lions are broken –Job 4:10 (NASB)

On the panels between the uprights were lions -1 Kings 7:29 (NIV)

Possible Interpretation- Lions between the uprights? Get yourself a Lion kicker, but avoid the rookies.

Unmentioned- Packers (sorry, mom), Vikings

NFC South

Falcons

No bird of prey knows that hidden path, no falcon’s eye has seen it –Job 28:7 (NIV)

Possible Interpretation- If you are looking for the path to victory, don’t recruit falcons. They’ve never seen it.

Saints

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints –Psalm 116:15 (KJV)

But the saints of the most High shall take the kingdom –Daniel 7:18 (KJV)

Possible Interpretation- New Orleans might get killed sometimes, but they will rise to the occasion.

Unmentioned- Buccaneers, Panthers

NFC West

Rams

They also slaughtered the rams -2 Chronicles 29:22 (NASB)

Possible Interpretation- Every time you see Rams in Scripture they are getting killed. Twelve here, two there, seven again in that chapter, Steven Jackson caught in a hedge…

Seahawks

The tree snake will make its nest and lay eggs there, And it will hatch and gather them under its protection. Yes, the hawks will be gathered there –Isaiah 34:15 (NASB)

Possible Interpretation- That sounds like a pretty safe play with all that protection.

Unmentioned- 49ers, Cardinals

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About Jeff Postlewaite

high school principal since '07, father since '04, teacher since '03, husband since '03, sound tech since '96, UVA fan since '92, gadget junkie since '89, Christian since '88, Giants fan since '84, golfer since '83, brother since '83, human since '81

Posted on September 13, 2012, in Sports and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Can’t disagree with that analysis – Jason Hanson is a solid player.

  2. As a Rams fan, I have to mention Daniel 8:4. But I think that prophecy was fulfilled in 1999-2000, so probably no longer holds relevance.

  1. Pingback: Links I Like – September 18 | Kevin Scott

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