Valentines’ Day: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

I have this theory that most of the negatives associated with events or even people are directly related to what makes them great. The Super Bowl is the most hyped sports event of the year and that makes it really exciting. It also detracts from the real event and places undue attention onto the parties, celebrities, and corporate sponsors. Ever meet someone who is really good with people? When they make mistakes, it’s usually trying to make someone happy. Our best opens the door for our worst.

Holidays are the absolute epitome of this concept. There’s the generosity/greed on Christmas, the thankfulness/overeating on Thanksgiving, the fireworks/burn victims on Independence Day, and whatever they do to counter the white shoe thing on Labor Day. Valentine’s Day is no exception. Here is a list of traditions ranked (using <3s, or course) by how destructive they could be.

Cards (negative potential- <3)
“Yes, I bought into Hallmark’s plot to take over the world by inventing their own holiday.”

Flowers (negative potential- ❤ <3)
“I love you enough to give you a gardening project. Water these daily and trim the stems or they will die…just like our relationship if you don’t put in more effort.”

Candy (negative potential- ❤ ❤ <3)
“I love you and I will still love you when you are 40 pounds heavier…which will be about this time tomorrow.”

Plush Animal (negative potential- ❤ ❤ ❤ <3)
“I love you but would rather you spend time with this inanimate bear. He’s probably just as good of a conversationalist.”

Facebook Shout-Out (negative potential- ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ <3)
“I am so in love with my Valentine, ____________. He is the best thing that could ever happen to me and I can’t imagine my life without him.”

Last year I placed this simple request on twitter and facebook:

After reading through facebook today, I’m convinced we need a “barf” emoticon. We have 364 days. The clock is ticking.

Don’t be surprised if you see this below your Facebook shout-out tomorrow.


You’ve been warned.


About Jeff Postlewaite

high school principal since '07, father since '04, teacher since '03, husband since '03, sound tech since '96, UVA fan since '92, gadget junkie since '89, Christian since '88, Giants fan since '84, golfer since '83, brother since '83, human since '81

Posted on February 13, 2012, in Society in General and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Wow Jeff, you crack me up!

  2. You are a strange, strange man Jeff Postlewaite

  3. I’m considering using your emoticon for everyone’s Valentines status updates…including the one I’ll send to Belinda 😀

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