30 Days of Thanks, day 22- an Umbrella
During the month of November I am writing about the first thing that I am consciously thankful for each day as a way to intentionally be more grateful. Check out the first one for more information on why I am doing this.
Hang on because I’m about to blow the lid off of one of the biggest conspiracies in modern religion. You know those umbrella holders that have been at the front door of every church since Laodicea started their building program? According to your church’s constitution and bylaws, anything placed in those bins is considered a donation.
It’s easy to blame the visitors who might think “This is such a great church! They put umbrellas out here for everyone when it rains!” You might be tempted to blame kids who love to sword fight. But I’m telling you that this blatant thievery of personal property goes all the way to the highest level of church leadership. In a very scientific survey conducted recently (about ten minutes ago), exactly 3 out of 3 church staff members admitted to having taken an umbrella out of one of the baskets that was not theirs. All three quickly added “but I returned it.”
Maybe I’m too close to this investigation. You see, I never owned an umbrella until I was 25 years old and on a trip to Washington DC with my wife. Since we were going to be spending the day walking around outside and it was definitely going to rain, I bought my first umbrella from a suburban K-Mart. I loved and cherished that umbrella, but one Sunday I did the unthinkable and left it in the bin at church. I didn’t see it again for three weeks when it mysteriously returned with two broken arms. I’m sorry, umbrella.
I moved on and bought a new umbrella. This morning I stepped outside to begin my ¾ mile walk to work and realized the clouds were crying…
Today, November 22, I am thankful for an umbrella.