Samples of Digital Hormel Products

I keep an Outlook folder for funny emails. Not dumb pictures of cats or the long jokes that people forward because I delete those immediately. This folder is for unintentionally funny emails and most of them are spam and phishing. Enjoy these excerpts:

Subject: new ladie profiles

My age is 26.
My search are for man to start a big friendship and may be more.
And you?
sweet kiss,
Elina

That “big friendship” sounds really appealing, but the personal “sweet kiss” at the end was really touching.

Subject: Let’s be friends

I really want to meet a  reliable and kind-hearted man. I don’t need an Ideal Man – I need the one that is right for me. Maybe, this man are you?

If sending out mass emails is your best approach for meeting men, it’s probably best to keep your expectations low. The “Ideal man” probably has a better spam filter than I do.

Subject: Newsletter Fri, 17 Dec 2010 13:07:23 -0300

Special News for you!
Do you want a prosperous future, increase in money earning power, and the admiration of all?
Today only:
We can assist with Diplomas from prestigious universities based on your present knowledge and work experience.

I already have a college degree so I almost deleted this one, but then I noticed that their degree would bring me the “admiration of all.” So far my degree hasn’t done that so maybe there’s something to this and I better hurry because it’s only available on days they send out this email!

 Subject: Time, Money, Keeping you from earning the Dgeree you deserve?   business card examples

Want the deg qy ree but can’t find the ti zb me?
WHAT A GRE ino AT ID diq EA!
We pro tg vide a co uo ncept that will allow anyone with sufficient work experience to obtain a fully verifiable Un ow ivers jmc ity Deg uz ree.
Ba gi chel utl ors, Ma mr ste jzo rs or ev cxt en a Do cg cto mxj rate.
CA uy LL US TODAY AND GIVE YOUR WORK
EXP cjh ERIE swv NCE THE CHANCE TO EARN YOU
THE HIG ul HER CO jez MPENS nl ATION YOU DE lac SER tg VE!

I am calling their 900 number immediately to see if I can get a degree in English!

On a completely unrelated note, I just got Farmville request for the first time in months.

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About Jeff Postlewaite

high school principal since '07, father since '04, teacher since '03, husband since '03, sound tech since '96, UVA fan since '92, gadget junkie since '89, Christian since '88, Giants fan since '84, golfer since '83, brother since '83, human since '81

Posted on August 11, 2011, in Society in General and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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