Earlier this week I released the AFC version of the Biblical Guide to Fantasy Football and the response was astounding. Here are just a few of the reactions:
Thanks for putting me out of a job! –Matthew Berry, ESPN fantasy columnist
Going forward my weekly Flames and Lames report will only include players from teams who are not listed in the BGFF as it pretty much has them covered. –Brad Evans, Yahoo! fantasy expert
Ok, so those guys haven’t actually said anything about the BGFF, but it’s probably only because they are using its wealth of knowledge to make their analysis and predictions better. Those sneaky “experts.” I probably shouldn’t give those guys my secrets but I am a man of my word so, as promised, here’s the NFC:
How to use the BGFF. Each NFL team that is mentioned in the KJV, ESV, NIV, or NASB versions of the Bible is listed below. If you can’t decide which player to start on your fantasy team, consult the BGFF and decide by determining which team the Bible paints in the best light. Some of the teams are mentioned both negatively and positively, so I have listed only the most negative and most positive mention of each team.
the Angel who has delivered me from all harm —may he bless these boys –Genesis 48:16 (NIV)
Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys -2 Kings 2:24 (NIV)
Possible Interpretation- Never, ever start a Cowboy over a Bear. Other than that, you’re good to go.
I carried you on eagles’ wings –Exodus 19:4 (NIV)
For wheresoever the carcase is, there will the eagles be gathered together. –Matthew 24:28 (KJV)
Possible Interpretation- Eagles will carry your team, but don’t be surprised if your carcass is surrounded by them in the playoffs.
He breaketh me with breach upon breach, he runneth upon me like a giant –Job 16:14 (KJV)
Possible Interpretation- Simply put, start your Giants running backs.
And every man, with whom was found blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine linen, and goats’ hair, and red skins of rams, and badgers’ skins, brought them. –Exodus 35:23 (KJV)
Possible Interpretation- Wait, are we talking about the Redskins or the Rams? Players who have been traded from one team to the other? I’m so confused.
Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore up forty-two lads of their number -2 Kings 2:24 (NASB)
Possible Interpretation- I’m pretty sure there are no female NFL players in Chicago so I’m not sure this applies.
The roaring of the lion and the voice of the fierce lion, and the teeth of the young lions are broken –Job 4:10 (NASB)
On the panels between the uprights were lions -1 Kings 7:29 (NIV)
Possible Interpretation- Lions between the uprights? Get yourself a Lion kicker, but avoid the rookies.
Unmentioned- Packers (sorry, mom), Vikings
No bird of prey knows that hidden path, no falcon’s eye has seen it –Job 28:7 (NIV)
Possible Interpretation- If you are looking for the path to victory, don’t recruit falcons. They’ve never seen it.
Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints –Psalm 116:15 (KJV)
But the saints of the most High shall take the kingdom –Daniel 7:18 (KJV)
Possible Interpretation- New Orleans might get killed sometimes, but they will rise to the occasion.
Unmentioned- Buccaneers, Panthers
They also slaughtered the rams -2 Chronicles 29:22 (NASB)
Possible Interpretation- Every time you see Rams in Scripture they are getting killed. Twelve here, two there, seven again in that chapter, Steven Jackson caught in a hedge…
The tree snake will make its nest and lay eggs there, And it will hatch and gather them under its protection. Yes, the hawks will be gathered there –Isaiah 34:15 (NASB)
Possible Interpretation- That sounds like a pretty safe play with all that protection.
Unmentioned- 49ers, Cardinals